Time passes fast

Really fast, unbelievably fast.

It's been one month since dear's departure, one and half month since the start of my final year study, and now I feel I am graduating, very soon. Indeed it will be very soon, from now late Oct, till next year Apr, my final year is left with less than 6 months actually. Well, it's a minor shock when I realized this but it's also exciting.

Time flies, so I need more progress, to achieve my goals and fulfill my dreams.

Dear's card

I received dear's handmade card today! The design is fabulous, amazing, great, super nice! I am astonished by dear's work. I would be greatly pleased by a simple card made by dear, but this time she really surprised and impressed me with her wonderful creativity, which I never expected before honestly.

My dear is amazing, simply amazing.

纪念日

和小慧在一起的第十一个月，谨以此纪念这美好的日子。我爱小慧！

一年前的今天

我的IA application被拒绝了，郁闷的我发短信告诉了小慧，她好心地安慰了我，令我感到宽心。
晚上是cg，我没找到机会和小慧说话。离开后我发短信问她觉得我的offering msg怎么样，还故意问了她为什么我们总没机会在cg说话。。
那时我就有些喜欢她了，希望有机会靠近她和她说话，又有点害羞。。

唐崇荣南大讲道会

一年前就想去听唐崇荣牧师讲道，可惜错过了。今天晚上终于近距离地听唐牧师讲道，宣讲题为“信仰与理性”，地点在南大课堂。
开场唐崇荣牧师就请一位学生上台互动，风趣地了解介绍后就询问这位学生父亲的情况。

“你从什么时候就是你父亲的儿子了？”
“从我出生前。”
“那你从什么时候就知道你是你父亲的儿子呢？”
“生下来之后。”
“那你是怎么知道你父亲就是你的父亲的？”
“我爸爸和我妈妈告诉我的。”
“他们说你就相信吗？”“你说有没有可能你是他们领养的呢？”
“有可能。”
“那如果另一个男人告诉你他是你的父亲，有可能吗？”
“有可能。。。”
“那如果有另外十几个男人都说是你的父亲，你信谁的？”
“应该是第一个和我说的吧。。。”
“这就成了先下手为强嘛！”
（听众笑。。。）

唐牧师幽默风趣的交谈揭示出了“信仰的存在”以及“信仰的重要性”。确定父子关系当然可以通过基因鉴定实现，但我们不能在做“理性的鉴定”前矢口否定这极有可能成立的父子关系。
对天父的关系也是如此。

我们不能太过依赖于证据和证明，而在证据不明时盲目否认神的存在和一切可能的事实。而且《圣经》里说道：
“隐秘的事是属耶和华我们神的；惟有明显的事是永远属我们和我们子孙的，好叫我们遵行这律法上的一切话。” -- 申命记29：29

对于“信仰和理性”的关系，唐崇荣牧师认为，我们要对那暂没有证据显明的事有信心，再用我们获得的知识和理性的分析支持加强我们的信心。他认为在“信仰和理性”中找到那条契合的平衡线非常非常的难，而要一辈子都走在这条平衡的道路上更是困难艰险不断。那我们就只能一步一步走，对于不明白的，先信，再探索。唐崇荣牧师反对只依赖证据而毫无信心，同时他也反对盲目毫无理性的信仰。

再进一步阐明“信仰与理性”的关系里，唐牧师举了婚姻为例。
当我们要和爱侣结婚时，我们不会去查对方的祖宗十八代是否有人得过麻风病，不会去管对方之前有过几个情人，因为我们结婚的对象是他/她的现在与未来，而不是他/她的过去。
同时，在我们结婚的那一刻，我们都不能百分百确定对方是否真的会和自己白头偕老，难道我们就不结婚了吗？难道我们要等到有充分的“证据”才结婚吗？那样，我们结婚的时候也就是我们死的那一刻了！
所以没错，婚姻就是建立在“信仰与信心”的基础上的，恋爱关系其实也一样。

一小时左右的讲道会之后是回答提问时间，一些有趣的问题也引发了唐牧师有趣的回答。

问：只要我道德上很好，我就不需要宗教信仰。
答：如果只是道德好，行善，那我们有谁比牛更辛勤劳作，服事人类而不抱怨的呢？你们有谁觉得自己做得比牛更好的站起来！（无人站起，笑）如果只要道德崇高，那天堂就全是耕牛而没有人类了！所以人类凭着自己的信心和对神救恩的接受，在这世之后就能迎来永生，与神同在。此外，没有道德的基督徒是耶稣最不喜悦的，他也用最严厉的词称那些法利赛人为“伪君子”。因此，有道德的非基督徒是好过没有道德的基督徒的。

问：如何联系外星人和宗教信仰？（很有趣的问题，也是我最近想到的一个问题，全场笑）
答：我不确定有没有外星人，但如果有，那一定也是神创造的。神不仅仅创造了我们这一粒星球，而是创造了所有我们知道的一切和我们不知道的一切。如果有一天，我们发现并踏上了另一个星球，找到了另一群智慧生物，我们自己就是他们眼中的外星人，而我们是相信神的。

问：在中国（华人）传统中，人们更向佛，认为佛教比基督教更适合中国及中国人民，如何看待这个差别以及对祖宗文化的传承？
答： 错！恰恰相反，佛教比基督教更同中国传统背离！孟子有言：“不孝有三，无后为大。”你的祖宗辛辛苦苦传递香火到你这一代，佛教却要你出家做和尚，不得婚娶，不得有子孙，这是对祖宗传统最大的悖逆！耶稣就没有叫我们不要结婚生子，就没有背离中国的传统文化。

问：不拜孔子就不是中国人！（唐牧师以前收到的一个问题）
答：（唐牧师哈哈大笑）那孔子自己就不是中国人，因为他自己就没有拜自己！（全场大笑）年轻人不要太骄傲，以为自己想到了可以轻易打败宗教信仰的问题，其实到头来这个问题会将你的无知幼稚显露无疑。

唐崇荣牧师是一位智者，他的头脑十分清晰灵活，语言十分准确而生动，而令我钦佩不已。他对年轻人的教导与期望也非常值得钦佩，这次近距离的聆听讲道令我获益匪浅。

烦

想睡觉却睡不着。
该睡觉却想着一些自己解决不了的问题。究竟是我的需求没有被满足还是我要求太多？
突然想骂自己一句，越来越像个“娘儿们”了，哪来的这么胡思乱想！
又想骂自己无能，竟连睡个觉这样的事都做不好！
心里已经骂过了，该睡觉了。

随笔

冲凉时忽然觉得冷，开着热水，调得更热也还是觉得冷，不温暖。希望不是病了才好。

昨天诺贝尔物理学奖被授予了Graphene的发现者，来自俄国的Andre Geim和Konstantin Novoselov。刚巧做完一个graphene的小project，前前后后也查阅了不少Geim和Novoselov合作的文献，算是对他们的研究有一定了解。
他们从垃圾篓里捡回一张透明胶，上面粘着graphite的残迹，而他们就从这“垃圾”上分析发现了迄今为止世界上最坚硬的材料--graphene,这也为他们带来了诺贝尔奖。或许人们都应该开始随身携带着透明胶，这里粘粘那里蹭蹭，说不定就能粘到还未被发现的物质，甚至连外太空物质也不无可能。世界真奇妙，探索无止境。

时间过得真快，转眼间我这个博客也写了一年了。一年又过去了。

A piece of thought about credit card

I don't like credit card, even with its fancy appearance. I can't accept the act of borrowing others' money to spend for my own pleasure. Moreover, this moment of pleasure will be soon blown away by the stress/burden of paying back the money to lender -- banks -- the "legal 大耳隆", a term given by a friend which I totally agree with. 

But I have to admit the creator of this name -- Credit Card -- is super smart. 

What if credit card is called 'debt card', 'borrower card', 'loan card' etc.? 

More people will dislike it. But now it's well called and accepted as credit card.

Imagine the following conversations.

Scenario1:

A: Hi, do you have a credit card?

B: No, I don't have any.

A: (In mind) So poor, he must has no credit... (With pity and despisal)

Scenario2:

A: Hi, do you have a debt card?

B: No, I don't have any.

A: (In mind) Wow, he must be very rich without any debt... (With admiration and respect)

I don't like credit card, and I don't like to be fooled by the fancy and attractive appearance like in this case.

God says, "Be wise".

Entry About City Harvest Church

When I was drinking tea after studying a bit of business finance, I decided to google for recent CHC news. But to my huge surprise, there was not any CHC news or even related webpage on google. Feeling unbelievable, I tried Bing search and was reassured of this surprise/shock. I'm not going to draw any conclusion from this unusual instance, but my curiosity was triggered undoubtedly and would remain there for certain time. 

My effort of searching CHC news lead me to one blog, with an entry commenting about CHC. see http://dellysunny.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!353FEFDD08D33E02!135.entry.

I have read a considerable amount of comments about CHC, mostly from fellow Christians. After reading this entry, I have to admit this is the 'best' one with which I agree most, not only his opinions but also his humble attitude. Again I'm not going to draw many conclusions, but just believe in, fellow and love our God.

Room-mate vs. Soul-mate

"We have been married for years but at timese I feel like we are room-mates instead of soul-mates. Our marriage lacks passion. Truthfully, it's boring and I'm afraid one or both of us will get interested in someone else if this doesn't change. What shall we do?"

~ Excellent room-mates

The traits of a room-mate marriage include:

• Not eating meals together;
• Watching TV without talking;
• Communicating about problems and work but not communicating face to face;
• Rarely praying or worshiping together;
• Having physical intercourse without intimacy;
• Arguing about finances but not working out a budget or financial plan together;
• Feeling unnoticed or unappreciated by your spouse;
• Becoming easily irritated or angry;
• Going out to group functions but not staying together;
• Not having a daily, positive time together to communicate face to face about your relationship; not about children, problems, money or work; and 
• Feeling stressed out, tired, anxious and fearful about the future.

Soul-mate marriage, when a couple has true oneness, body, soul and spirit, looks like this:

• Both enjoy doing things together, spending quality time together and sharing intimately -- body, soul and spirit;
• Both seek out quiet times for prayer and sharing scripture together;
• Both encourage and affirm one another, seeking to support each other in times of work or financial stress;
• Both express the five love languages to each other -- gift giving, quality time, physical touch, affirming words and acts of service;
• Both admit wrongs, ask for forgiveness and forgive one another;
• Both laugh a lot, rest and eat right and find joy in the simple pleasures of life -- a walk, holding hands, sharing a hobby together, going out together, simply being together; and 
• Both working to keep the marriage from getting into a rut.

A useful reference, quoted from citynews report. 

How much do I rely on my own strength

During today's cgm, when I quieted down my heart, once again I realized I have relied on my own strength and wisdom too much, to the extent that is close to the "dangerous level". Being so confident about my character, being so confident about my ability and skills, my work and study, my current and future relationship with xiao hui, being so confident about almost everything in my life for such a long long time, I realize my confidence has overtaken my humbleness, and this confidence is turning into pride.

This is of great danger.

Being overconfident blindfolds myself, and this overconfidence (or pride) is doubtlessly creating blind areas in my viewing/understanding of myself and my life.

And the most dangerous situation is when I could not even see the danger.

I am relying TOO MUCH on my own strength and ability! 

During cgm, I felt the desire to have more of God when worshiping. After cgm, I realized the difference between my own strength and God's power.

My strength is a circle/sphere with what it contains inside. If I am smart enough, my circle can be bigger than others, and I may enlarge my circle of strength/ability through my diligent study and work, success and failure, even with the price of tears and blood. But, there is always the BOUNDARY! My strength and ability NEVER go beyond the line of circle!

But when I fully rely on God's power and strength, there is NO BOUNDARY to LIMIT GOD'S ABILITY! With God's strength, there is no limitation on where I can reach to!

Until here, I realize, relying on my own strength = limiting what God wants me to achieve, limiting God's almighty power in my life!

God, thus I commit myself into your almighty hands. Please break my pride, mold my heart into a heart of gentleness and humbleness. God, please comfort me, help me and change me.